I've had a real fun morning. I decided to go car shopping. I knew what I wanted to look at so trotted off to the dealership full of desire. Oh dear, I was so disappointed. The salesman was unable to answer any of my questions about the car. The car I am looking at is the new Fiat 500 and OK, it is a new model, and to be fair the dealerships have not had that much info themselves yet but....I have taken the time to read about it and find out what I could so why on earth couldn't this salesman?? He is the one to be earning lots of commission on the sale. Well, not from me he won't but you know what I mean! I think his Sales Manager must have seen what was going on and come to my rescue....I got a brochure, an invite to the launch on 21st Jan, invitation for a test drive just as soon as they had the demo car at the branch and every one of my questions answered!

By the time I had left the showroom the poor salesman had admitted defeat and told me I knew far more than he did and could not stop telling me he felt embarrassed. I laughingly told him I was the Secret Shopper and that I was now going back to report my findings....evil woman that I am totally enjoyed the look of horror on the guys face!

Long gone are the days when people knew what they were talking about!

Christmas isn't all work, cook and shop you know!!

Have you been watching all those wonderful old black and white films that have been showing on TV? I have had a real film fest over the last few weeks and it's made my day to collapse infront of the telly with a cuppa only to find films like Brief Encounter on.

Why don't they make them like that anymore?!

I have been poking about in here but not actually done any blogging. No reason for this really, just didn't know where to start! I am sure that like yourselves life has been interesting to say the least over the last week or so. Christmas creeps up and then wham! it's over in a flash and we are all left in a state of shock!

Today saw me reduced to tears by a 70 plus year old man. I had parked the car up and went off over the fields to walk the dog. I needed to get out and clear my head so a long walk was the thing to do. When I returned to the car about 2 hours later it seemed that every other car owner in London had decided to park in the car park too. So I loaded the dog into the car and tried to navigate my way out. I had to reverse as there was no way to turn the car around. As I was half way out an elderly gentleman stopped by my side, peered in the car as if to say "what the hell are you doing", stood there for a minute and then walked off to his car. I did think that was odd but carried on reversing. All of a sudden there he was, his car was nose to nose with mine and he was waving his arms about and shouting all sorts of expletives at me. I can lip read you see so I knew what he was saying wasn't too nice. Then he got out of his car, come round to me and called me lots more unpleasant things.

Now, bear in mind, I was driving my husbands 4x4 and I don't normally drive it so that didn't help matters. Had I been stopped dead he would have had every right to shout at me but I was going back at a steady speed. So then out he gets again....oh dear, the shouting got louder and more abusive!!!!!! By this point I was really cross, the dog was barking at him too so that didn't help and there was now an audience! One guy told him to get back in his car or to be helpfull and back me out. That went down well and he too got an earful from Basher Bill. Why do these things seem to take ages while in reality they have probably taken seconds? I eventually got out of the car park and just sat and cried. I was shaking with rage as I just wanted to drive over his silly little car and shut him right up!!!!!

What a silly woman I am eh! But why oh why do these people think they can just shout as us! I also wondered if my 6ft 4ins husband would have been driving if he would have acted in the same way....I somehow doubt it! Mind you, I don't think he thought he would have got such an earful back from me....

I am just sitting here wondering how many different variations on what to do with left over turkey we can come up with. There is always so much left over in this house as I am always guilty of trying to feed the street or I buy extra incase anyone invites themselves along. It never happens though, well not for Christmas dinner at least.

So here we go:

Turkey sandwiches for the next month
Turkey curry
Turkey stir fry
Turkey soup
Turkey.....
Turkey.......
Turkey..........

Your turn now!

I needed to go get the last last last items of shopping today and after Waitrose yesterday I decided that today was the day to get up and go! I was in Tesco at 9.30am and ready to shop. Thankfully there were parking spaces without the need to fight over them. Lots of trolleys and most importantly...turkeys! I quickly filled my trolley and felt like I was in Supermarket Sweep with Dale Winton. I got the turkey, the champers, the trifle sponges, the Christmas pud (too lazy to make my own this year), the cheeses along with anything and everything else that I didn't really need. I will have to eat all of this you understand so heaven help my ever expanding waistband.

I didn't forget the Rennies either. Think we might be needing those....

Please can someone tell me what it is about food shopping at Christmas! It would seem that everyone shops like there is no tomorrow and that they will not be eating for the next 30 days. I don't know about you but these people are all bonkers! The shops are shut for what, 2 days? So they are hardly going to be hungry or be without anything and yet there they are, elbowing everyone out of their way for the honey roasted nuts and cranberry sauce.

Today I bravely ventured into Waitrose. Bad move! The car park was manic what with 97 year old George in his Honda Civic trying to park and Doris in her Micra trying to get out of her parking space. Don't you just love to watch all this going on? I will admit that I do!

So, once in Waitrose I had to fight my way through the veg, then the fruit and then onto the meat section. OMG, there they were, all fighting over the turkeys...why?! I carried on my merry way collecting what I needed quite happily. Doris decided that she needed to block the aisle with her trolley while she chatted to Hilda about the last meeting at the bridge club and George followed behind his wife with the trolley also blocking the aisle everytime wifey stopped to look at something!

I HATE CHRISTMAS FOOD SHOPPING!

Think of me tomorrow when I attack Tescos. I am dropping the dog off for his Christmas haircut at 9am and will whizz off to Tescos to get all I need for the 2 days of Christmas....

The evening didn't start too well!

There I was, all showered and sweet smelling, soaking wet hair and just about to fire up the old hairdrier and hair straighteners when the phone rang.

Son: "OMG, mum, you got to come and help, there's blood everywhere, we have fell through the glass in the front door and Joe's mum will go mad when she gets home!"

Me: "WHAT!!!!!??? I'm on my way......."

I had to drive round the block 4 times before I could find anywhere to park so my stress levels were mega high. On arrival there was Joe's mum and dad. Thank heavens. I didn't know what I was going to find other than blood everywhere. Needless to say, the blood amounted to no more than a few minor scratches thank heavens. There was glass everywhere though. Wooden floors and silly, flimsy rugs are soooooo dangerous and not a good combination. How many times have you trod on one of these and done a Torville and Dean down the hall? I know I have and got a 9.5 when I finally stopped sliding for artistic impression!

So, I gathered the son up and rushed back home to carry on converting myself from working mum into some glamour puss lookalike....well, you get the idea!

Had a fab night though. Oh staying sober has so many advantages. The Boss Man was drunk when we arrived so that was fun. He had decided that I was going to be his karaoke partner....WRONG! I never, ever karaoke! Now I love to sing, oh do I love to sing but....never in the prescence of any other living thing. I sing in the privacy of my car. Volume turned high and I will then sing at the top of my voice but never karaoke. Sadly, the Boss Man decided I was his singing partner. I told him I would dance all night with him but would not sing with anyone EVER! He soon found another partner. Now the Boss Man has a bit of a reputation for getting drunk so us girlies were prepared. We had made him a BIG label with the words "I'm drunk and need to get home" and added his address incase he ended up wandering the streets yet again. He looked so silly sitting there with this label tied to his shirt buttons.

Despite not having a drop of alcohol pass my lips last night I awoke with a sympathetic hangover. How the hell do you get those?? I felt so awful that a belly full of vodka last night would have been given me less of a headache. I had some toast and decided that I needed my bed so went back to bed and slept....and slept!

Oh don't you love this time of year. Christmas parties all the way....

What is it about nights out with your work colleagues? Are you like me and just love to sit back and watch how they all behave once they have a drink inside them? How amusing is that to watch!! There will be one of the Managers trying to get "friendly" with one of the Admin staff for starters. It always happens and they then spend the next 3 months trying to avoid each other. It's very funny to watch.

Tomorrow night is my Christmas "do" and I am rather looking forward to it. One guy has since lost his "friend" as she has moved to another place and guess who will be feeling sorry for himself? Yep he will. So, what's the betting he will get all smutty and try to find a replacement? I can't wait....

Today has been a bit of a lost day in one way or another. We have done lots of things and charging about but can't really say what we have done in particular if that makes sense.

We got a lovely invite from a neighbour to pop in for a mince pie and a drink this afternoon anytime after 3pm. We arrived about 4pm complete with a nice bottle of Cava for the hosts. We are blessed in that most of our neighbours are really lovely people and we all get on so well. These gatherings always tend to end up being rather 'er, lively to say the least. We arrived home about 9.30pm with headaches from laughing so much and probably from drinking far too much too...and on a school night too!

I think my Christmas season has just been kick started!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Oh while I think of it.....squirrels!

As I said to Ellie in her blog, I am having a bit of a squirrel problem at the moment. They have dug up all the daffodil bulbs I planted, made off with numerous squirrel proof bird feeders and terrorised the dog. What to do? I really don't know what to do for the best. I caught one sat ontop of my newest bird feeder this week. The feeder is like a sunflower bowl type thing ontop of a very thin metal rod that you push into the ground. It's not designed to hold the weight of a pesky squirrel. I have been wondering for weeks why it is at a very dogdy angle and why the chopped nut feed seems to be disappeared overnight. Now I know why! It isn't the dog afterall....bless him, he gets the blame for every thing in the garden. Perhaps it's the squirrels who have taken a liking to my lovely hydrangea too along with the nuts??

So, suggestions on how to deal with these squirrels on a postcard please....

What an odd world we live in. Well, let me reword that....what an odd world I live in. Today has been manic. It should have been one of those "OK, lets all get up and get out to the shops before anyone else has got out of bed" days. Did we manage it? Nooo, course we didn't!

We arrived at the retail centre about 11am and it was packed. I did wonder if they were giving something away free but no, I quickly reminded myself that this is the normal Christmas shopping frenzy that happens every year. We had to visit Burton to get Kevin (name changed to protect his street cred!) some new clothes. "Do you like this Kevin?" I would ask only to hear "Errumphhh!" in return. Now I don't know about you but I'm never quite sure if that means he likes it or not! So an hour and £150 later Kevin has a new wardrobe to wear and drop on the floor when worn.

We wandered into Pets and Home too. Don't you love that place? Needless to say we got the dog a cracker and some dog beer. That'll be fun I'm sure!

Then it was on to get some new trainers for Kevin. Dear, dear me! This has got to be the hardest task in the world. Should he have brown, black or white? Should he have laces or velcro? Of course he choose the most expensive pair he could find. Did I have him programmed at birth to need the most expensive stuff I wonder??

I arrived home in need of a large coffee with 73 spoonfuls of sugar just to steady my nerves.

Then it was off to find a 7ft Christmas tree. After chasing round half of London we eventually found one. It's really nice actually so I felt rather pleased with myself. I was wondering how the dog would cope as last year we went against the grain and got a pretend tree incase the dog got a bit confussed and well, you know, christened it.

Phew! I'm worn out. Suppose I'd best have some Christmas cheer now then eh?

Hic.....

Look at the time.....02.05am and I can't sleep

What do you do when you can't sleep? Read a book? Listen to the radio? I started off by going and watching the TV but there is just so much rubbish on at this time of the morning so I gave up. Then I went back to bed to listen to the radio. I don't know about you but I have a small MP3 player by the bed just incase I can't sleep. It has a radio on it so I can tune in to the chat shows or my favourite tunes. I love those phone ins at any time of the day or night. There will always be something very enjoyable to listen to...well, except on a Friday night when it's all that tarot card reading and fortune telling. Trouble is, when something interesting is on and you think it will be good to listen to....you nod off and don't remember a thing!

What's the bet that when I do finally nod off the alarm will go off and I will feel really tired?!

Night night everyone

Lots in the news this weekend about Christmas shoppers using their store cards to make purchases. It would seem that we pay out around 62% more than if we used a credit card. I'm not one for having store cards and am sick and tired of being asked if I would like a store card when in shops. No I don't, and nor do I want 25% off the cost of the pair of knickers I am in the middle of trying to pay for. I will admit to having one store card and that is the trusty John Lewis store card. John Lewis really are the only shop that you really do know you are getting what you pay for and the customer service you want. I have never had any complaint with John Lewis. If the truth is known they probably have a few complaints about me! When I am buying a new washing machine or appliance I just have to know everything about it and compare it with others. JL is the only place that the sales staff know what they are talking about. I drive them mad and am pretty sure when the sales staff see me coming they hide.

Now then, I think I need a new washing machine!

Hands up who else is suffering from the dreaded lurgie!

I have a red cross on the front door warning everyone that the house is full of germs and not to enter unless you have the immune system of an ox. I was laid low about 3 weeks ago but some very nasty stomach bug that I can only think was like a gastric flu. I lost lots of weight though so there was a plus to this bug! I hurt everywhere and felt so awful I had to take 2 days off from work. Guilt got the better of me and I struggled into work on the Wednesday only to be sent home again. So the rest of the week saw me sprawled out with the radio, TV and dog for company.

I decided that on Monday I was well enough to return to work as it was now Christmas production time and all hands on deck were needed to make props and costumes and audition the children for their parts in the production. Some of my colleagues do take this rather seriously and I will admit to standing back and being reminded of the X Factor auditions. Nope, I still wasn't well and so got sent home yet again

Eventually I really did feel better and returned once more on Monday! Wrong! I was now loosing my voice. My husband was over the moon at the prospect of me being speechless for a few days. I didn't have a sore throat just a croak and a squeek. By Wednesday my voice had gone totally and I was writing notes for everyone. Thursday I got the sore throat from Hell. Friday I had a cough that could strip wallpaper and saw me come home from work and go right to bed feeling like death. I even cancelled a night out with the girls. Yesterday (Saturday) I was totally floored had to cancel going to my nephews 21st birthday party Last night was the worse nights sleep ever and even the dog stayed clear.

Today I intend on staying in, keeping warm and feeling sorry for myself. So dear reader, if you are suffering too I just want you to know I am feeling your suffering too!

Pass the lemon and honey please

Don't you just love the good old fashioned Sunday? You have a bit of a lay in, get up, have breakfast and just let the day take you wherever it wants. Today I had a lay in and didn't get up until 9.30am. Now that is a lay in for me as I am normally up at 7am. My son decided he was going to cook us breakfast....aaargggggh! This means that the kitchen will be turned into a war zone. He is not the tidiest of cooks and will not listen and a cook needs to be neat and tidy when cooking. So both my husband any myself locked ourselves in the other room until we were called to eat. We could hear lots of banging about and the smoke alarm went off but we sat tight and both of us pretended we were reading the papers.

We got the call to go and eat and took a deep breath before entering the kitchen... We had bacon, eggs, fried bread, black pudding, sausages and lots of steaming hot tea. Now the eggs were cooked to perfection with "curtains" on (lovely brown crinkly edges if you don't know what curtains are!) and the sausages and bacon were thankfully cooked too. The black pudding wasn't cooked but we slipped that to the dog when the chef wasn't looking. He enjoyed it!

Once we had eaten the chef disappeared to play on his X Box so guess who had to tidy up? Yep, me! Just how many frying pans do you need to cook breakfast? I counted 3 and numerous fish slices, spoons and knives. Then there were the grease/fat/oil marked work surfaces.....just how far does grease/fat/oil splatter when used? Quite a long way I have to say! I felt like I needed to deep cleanse the kitchen after Jamie Oliver Mark 2 had done.

Our chef is doing cookery for one of his exams and we have to suffer him cooking at least once a week at home. Goodness me, this weeks cooking session was interesting....he had to make pastry to take in for the next cookery lesson. To say the kitchen resembled a snow storm is a slight understatement. I think it took me and hour to clean up after him.

Please tell me it will get better and he will end up being a top class chef and earn lots of money and look after his dear old mum....please!